Again, a slight delay in getting out this recap. Apologies, apologies. Blame the resurrection of Christ/the shittiness of the Vancouver Canucks, but I didn’t get to really watch “The Kingsroad” until yesterday.
In episode 2 of Game of Thrones the Nipple Count is lower but the tension is higher.
"Sh*t's about to get real, amirite?"
Following the aftermath of a young child being unceremoniously pushed from a window (Jaime Lannister doesn’t look so hot anymore, eh? Nah, who am I kidding… he’s still bloody gorgeous), Sean Bean Ned Stark is riding back to the capital, King’s Landing, to take over duties as the Hand of the King. He takes with him his two daughters, Arya and Sansa, while his wife, Catelyn, and the rest of his family stay behind. Oh, except for his bastard, Jon Snow. He’s heading to a giant frozen wall for No. Good. Reason…. other than, you know, honour or something. More on that later**.
As promised, the credits indeed altered themselves to reflect the changing locations, with Pentos replaced with Dothrak as Daenaerys moves out with her new horselord hubby, Ronan Dex, I mean, Conan the Barbarian, wait no, Khal Drogo. Not that Jason Momoa is getting typecast or anything.
Thus, away we go to Westeros:
"Oh balls."
CSI: Winterfell
We know that after he was pushed from the tower by Jaime Lannister, Bran is indeed not dead, but rather in a medieval coma, complete with wailing wolves and his mother sitting a bedside vigil. Clearly, with her son’s life teetering in the brink, Catelyn has gone a little nuts.
Then, somehow, a crazed madman with a knife makes her sane again…? She fights him off, but the ultimate victory goes to Bran’s direwolf.
Yet-To-Be-Named Direwolf FTW.
Understandably now sceptical about her son’s fall, Catelyn investigates! I really wish she had a Dr. Watson or a Gil Grissom in this episode. That would have been amazing. Even lacking contemporary science, Catelyn is successful in her search of the tower.
I almost expected her to find a set of handprints in the dust on the ground. But no, just a Long. Blonde. Hair.
Note: Love scenes with Sean Bean will give anyone that smirk.
A few dead baby jokes would still be inappropriate, right?
Oh Cersei.
Cersei gives Catelyn a sob story about a baby of hers that died, as if to imply that she understands what Catelyn is going through.
All in unison now: “Lying whore!”
We’re supposed to assume she’s lying right? I mean, she wants Bran to die, there’s no way she’s prayed to the gods to save his life. But here’s the question, whether you’ve read the books or not: is she lying about her lost baby? At first thought, she’s clearing trying to win sympathy with the grieving Catelyn, but on the other hand… it seemed rather important that she mentioned the baby had black hair. Dr. Roommate pointed out that clearly they want the idea to stick in the audience’s head that, “Hm… none of her other children have black hair.”* But if she was lying, why would she make up “black hair,” and if she was telling the truth, why tell Catelyn?
Oh Cersei.
You might think that eventually, I'll prove myself to be a complex, layered character, but really... no, really, I'm just a bitch.
If the only thing that peaked your interest in the last episode was Sean Bean and Puppies, then I have some bad news for you. The direwolves are no longer little puppies, but vicious killing machines trained for war. They even have grenades strapped to their ankles and know how to deploy them. Well… not quite. But they do know how to go for the throat, or, er… wrist.
Cue Old Yeller flashbacks.
Rolling in the Hay Grasses That Will One Day Engulf the Entire World
Daenaerys learns two very important lessons. One from Jorah Mormont; the other from a Sexy Slavegirl (who might as well as been dressed as Slave Leia for all her wanton sex appeal.) One is about the End of the World; the other how to proceate sexily.
I would listen to Jorah Mormont’s crazy stories about the End of Days for as long as he felt like talking about it but I would much rather have heard his opinion on the latter. Just sayin’.
While Daenaerys gets her groove on, Jorah pines.
Also, we get a nice little transition through the candles and dragon eggs into a campfire and up to Jon. (I have a crazy theory about this. But more on that later.**)
Black might be his colour, but I think he could pull off anything…
Jon, Jon, Jon. It’s almost as if the lack of puppies needed to be compensated for by including something just as sickeningly adorable. Thus, I give you:
All together now: "AWWWW!"
Now discussing how they handled Jon’s storyline here is a little difficult to discuss without spoilers. So, yeah… SPOILERS.
I feel they were really laying it on rather thick: the whole question of Jon’s mother. If it were not important and we were never intended to find out, then it would not be referenced so *ahem* starkly. The (rather heavy-handed) inclusion of Ned promising to tell Jon all about when they meet again was difficult to see this knowing that conversation would never happen.
And again it comes up in conversation between Ned and Robert. For a relationship that seemed quite open with the kiss-and-tell, it seems rather suprising that Robert wouldn’t know anything about Ned’s allegedly roll in the hay. Thus HBO seems to be saying: “Jon’s maternity is damned important. Keep it in mind.”
Hm. More on this later**.
Just because I haven't swooned yet.
Sandor Clegane
Again with the necessary Sandor discussion, as per Dr. Roommate. We decided that Sandor is quite nice and accessible in this HBO adaptation, rather than the bit of a prick he is in the books. Sansa is not quite afraid of him either. Hm.
Also note: Sandor “The Hound” Clegane is referred to several times in this episode as “a dog” or “the dog,” etc. And with Lady’s impending demise, Ned was told by Robert to “get her a dog.” Hm.
Oh the weepies.
Discuss.
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*Mom had a good quote that bears repeating: “That Prince Joffrey kid is funny looking. Like he’s inbred or something…*trails off* … OO-Oh!”
**At some point in the (near) future, I will post something explaining all my More on this later‘s.
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Nipple Count: Far less than last episode. We only managed to count 10, and I’m pretty sure six of those belonged to Khal Drogo.
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UPDATE: I added an picture of Jaime and Jon because I realized this recap wasn’t hot enough. Sorry. Editorial empowerment wins.
Arts and crafts time with Catelyn! She does distraught quite well.
I am liking your suspicions about Jon’s mother. It does seem like they spent a lot of time on something that didn’t seem so important in the book.
And Sandor doesn’t seem quite so brutish as he is portrayed in the books. (I’d cuddle him) Maybe because they didn’t dwell on the whole Micah murder thing as much?
You forgot to mention one of the best parts! Sandor standing by as Tyrion reprimands Joffrey and smacks him upside the head several times. That made me love Tyrion and Sandor even more
You’re right! I totally forgot to mention the slap(s). They were amazing. I love Joffrey’s little whine.
Hey. If anyone is cuddling the Hound, it’s me.
In the books, he laughed about killing Mycah. And he wasn’t all helpy towards Sansa, explaining about Ser Ilyn (I think that was Renly). And he made fun of Robb already, and was kind of just generally an all around dick.
It has been suggested that to the viewing audience, saying “He ran, but not very fast.” is a massive douchebag move, and that that is really all they need to know that, at the very least, he is damaged goods.
BLAST! I also forgot to mention how cool it was that Bran woke up just as Lady died. Someone refresh me, did it coincide like that in the books?
I was wondering the same thing myself. It might be difficult to tell since the story is told from various characters’ points of view and timing of events is difficult to gauge unless a helpful raven comes along with news of certain events (and even then, it’s not like it’s absolutely current by the time it gets to the recipient).
Yeah, I wondered…. I mean, knowing Bran’s story with the direwolves, it’s pretty significant. Perhaps HBO just wanted to start with some good ole foreshadowing.
I don’t think you’re spending enough time discussing the implications of the Sansa/Sandor relationship. It’s okay, we can discuss it in time for next week’s recap.